I’m kind of reluctant to admit it, but I’m a regular at Starbucks.

It’s been this way for a while… at least for the nine years that I’ve been working in my office building, because guess what? The nearest twin-tailed mermaid logo is only about a block away. Her siren song lured me there long ago, and try as I might, I can’t stop going.

At some point along the way, Starbucks opened a new location along my route to the office, this time with a drive-through, which had zero appeal until The Boy came along. You see, when I returned from maternity leave, I changed my hours and starting driving in much earlier. Let’s do the math:  sleep deprivation + non-morning person anyway + convenient coffee shop location = caffeine addiction.

At first, I considered just getting to work a success. Ponytail, wrinkled clothes, no makeup, and a high likelihood that The Boy’s DNA was smeared somewhere my person, in one form another. I didn’t care. I’d made the journey.

Interestingly, as my son’s sleeping patterns changed, so did my interest in looking human. But makeup didn’t make the cut… that is, until I discovered the Starbucks drive-through.

It didn’t matter how backed up the drive-through was, because drive-through time = makeup time. It was perfect. I didn’t have to sacrifice any crucial moments of Mike & Mike by going in, AND I no longer had to look like a pale walking corpse at the office. It was a coup for this working mom: a brilliant mix of luxury, innovation and empowerment, with caffeine kicker. Once in a rare while, I’m just so proud of me.

I do occasionally still wander in on foot, especially this time of year. You see, in late September, the Starbucks marketing machine fires up for fall and winter. It’s a process to behold, and I’m a total sucker for it.

It starts gradually… with a menu change. Suddenly, there’s pumpkin scones, pumpkin cream cheese muffins, and pumpkin spice lattes everywhere. Which is weird, because here in Houston, late September is still hot. Like 90 degrees hot. Like is-summer-ever-really-going-to-end hot, so all this autumnal loveliness on the menu feels out of place. The same thing happens in department stores in February, when they replace the coats with bathing suits: there’s excitement that spring is coming, but also a distinct feeling that we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves.

The problem is that the pumpkin marketing, while sickeningly transparent, always works. And every year, I buy a pumpkin cream cheese muffin. And every year, it sucks.

I’m not sure how that’s possible, because pumpkin and cream cheese are dang near the top of my list of flavor combinations. And while I am a baker, and now, I suppose, a bona fide food blogger, my standards aren’t really that high… I’m just a junkie looking for a fix. But this is a standard thawed-from-frozen, preservative-laden, factory-aftertaste pastry. They’re not even trying.

So this fall, I did something about it. Something I’ve never ever done before in my whole entire life, and something, quite frankly, I never thought I’d do:

Oven ready.

I developed a recipe. For pumpkin cream cheese muffins.

I looked hither and yon for a recipe, including Google, and found nothing to my taste. But I did find my mother-in-law’s pumpkin bread recipe, which happens to be Matt’s hands-down, tippety top, Favorite Food Of All Time. And I also found my mom’s favorite pumpkin roll recipe, which includes a cream cheese filling. So I combined the two, jacked up the spices, added some pumpkin seeds, and voilà! Pumpkin cream cheese muffins.

I thought they were pretty good, definitely better than Starbucks, but I wanted to be sure. So I bought another muffin on my next drive into the office, and submitted it alongside some of mine to my good friend John, who happens to have quite an elegant palate. Now, before I tell you what he said, you need to know that John and I think the world of each other, and aren’t afraid of saying so… in fact, when I’m feeling a little blue, I go upstairs to see John. He’s the kind of friend that makes you feel like a rock star, no matter what kind of curveballs the world is tossing at you.

Anyway, he sent this note:

Oh! Laura!

Thank you so much for the incredible treat you left with me Monday. I think your pumpkin muffins are truly one of the most wonderful things I have ever tasted!! I can’t imagine how you manage to obtain the earthy depths of pumpkin taste while not losing the delicate heights of subtle sweetness of this incredible gift from the earth. It is such a layering and separation of tastes that it’s just amazing. After YOU pull something out of the oven everything else is never quite the same!

It’s actually very cruel to even allow “the other muffins”in the same room. The tragically sad comparison – after your muffins – of the Starbucks version sadly consists only of the clawing sweetness of corn syrup attempting to disguise the sour gumminess of preservatives in cardboard tasting dough. I suppose if one had never had “The Laura Version” it would be OK if you got it out of a vending machine!

Happy to be your guinea pig ANYTIME!

Starbucks' version on the left, mine on the right.

See what I mean about the rock star thing? Honestly, they weren’t all that… I’m not sure muffins even can be all that, really. But John is very good to me, and I am extremely fond of him, and I’ll accept his effusive praises any day of the week. Wouldn’t you?

When I make these again, I’ll make a few tweaks. I’ll jack up the spices even more, and I’ll try leaving out the water in hopes of a slightly denser muffin. On half of them, I’ll leave the seeds off and flirt with a different muffin topping. In fact, I have a second John whose culinary opinions I also highly respect, and the new muffin topping was his suggestion. Sadly, the details flew out of my head about 2 seconds after he provided them. He’s a WFI reader, the comment shy type, but if we keep our fingers crossed, he’ll just might cave to the pressure and leave his suggestion below…

In the meantime, I’m grateful to Starbucks for getting me all stirred up about fall, and for leaving me unfulfilled enough to try something new.

Happy baking season!

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Readers, beware! As I mentioned, this is my first recipe ever. Feedback from any and all testers would be highly appreciated, especially regarding the bake time and yield.

 

PUMPKIN CREAM CHEESE MUFFINS

Cream Cheese Filling:
16 ounces cream cheese, softened
2 cups powdered sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla

Pumpkin Batter:
3 1/3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
3 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons cinnamon (I’ll try 3 tsp next time)
2 teaspoons nutmeg (I’ll try 3 tsp next time)
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves (I’ll try a full tsp next time)
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
2/3 cup water (I’ll omit this next time)
1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin pack

1/2 cup pumpkins seeds (aka pepitas), toasted

Combine filling ingredients in a large bowl and mix well. Refrigerate until firm, for at least an hour and up to 24 hours.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray muffin cups with nonstick spray (or line with baking cups). Combine all pumpkin batter ingredients in the large bowl of an electric mixer and beat until light and smooth. Divide batter among muffin cups (I think mine made 4 dozen standard sized muffins), filling only half-full (to leave room for the cream cheese filling).

Drop cream cheese filling into centers of muffin batter by the spoonful (a quenelle or bullet shape is ideal, so that the filling runs through most of the muffin vertically), about a scant tablespoon for each muffin. Sprinkle toasted seeds on top.

Bake at 350°F until a toothpick tests clean, checking after 20 minutes. Makes approximately 4 dozen standard muffins.