A week ago today, I got a very interesting phone call.  A special shipment had arrived from Puerto Rico, and was I interested in sampling the goods?  I asked a few questions, because I’d heard about the reputed effects that this stuff has on the senses.  I was intrigued, and wanted to try it.  Arrangements were made.

On Monday, I got a brief cryptic email at my office.  A while later, I grabbed my bag and hit the door for an “early lunch”.  A short drive later, I pulled up in front of a huge office building.  I parked just outside the front door, where I probably shouldn’t have, left it running, which I probably shouldn’t have, and went inside through the giant plate glass doors. 

A receptionist smiled at me, wordless.  A security guard sat next to her, eyeing me.  I was sure I’d be busted.

Hello, I said, too friendly.  I told her my name and asked whether she had an package for me.

Oh yes, she said, handing me a plain white envelope.

I took it, thanked her, and walked too fast back to my car and drove away.  At the first red light, I opened the envelope.  Inside was a plastic baggie, and inside that was a carefully folded napkin.  I unfolded the napkin, and to my delight, I saw three red berries.  That’s when I saw the note.  It read, EAT ME.  I cracked up.

Later that night, after The Boy was asleep, I asked Matt if he wanted to try it out with me.  Heck no, came the answer. I called my trusty neighbor, Shana, and sure enough, she was game.

From my kitchen, I grabbed a lemon, a bottle of red wine vinegar, and a bottle of Tabasco.  On my way out through the garage, I grabbed a can of Guinness.  When Shana answered the door, I held up my miscellany and said, “Let’s party!”  Once inside, her husband Ryan agreed to try the berries, too.

We ate the berries, and felt a slight tingling sensation, the kind you get from a cold Dr. Pepper.  They weren’t that tasty, actually, but then again, we weren’t eating them for their taste.

These came with a note that read, EAT ME.

Right after, we cut up the lemon and ate it.  It tasted like lemon candy… there was nothing sour about it.  We ate it like you’d eat the most perfectly sweet orange.

Then we swigged the Guinness.  It tasted nothing like stout and every bit like chocolate milk.  Crazy!

Next, we drank sips of vinegar.  I’m not sure what it tasted like… fruit juice, I suppose.

And finally, the Tabasco, which had been stripped of it’s heat and tasted like plain old tomato juice.  It was such a strange experience for our brains to be telling us one thing and our taste buds to be saying another… frankly, as Ryan pointed out, we wouldn’t have been surprised if a pink elephant had walked in the room.

What exactly had we eaten, and what exactly had it done to our taste buds???

We were “flavor tripping”, as it’s called, on miracle fruit.  Basically, a protein in the berries tricks the flavor receptors in your mouth into thinking that acids are sugars.  Wild, huh?  Read more about it here, and then throw a tasting party and invite me.

By the way, you might want to ask… who was my source?  It was Jessica, my friend who’s in chef school.  Behind the scenes, Jess has given me tons of ideas, suggestions, and opportunities… most of which I haven’t even gotten around to yet, although it’s spectacular stuff.  Like insights about salt, and children’s nutrition, and goings-on in the food community.  Why we haven’t been friends for longer than we have is something I can only blame on Andy.  (I think he might have been fearful of what would happen if we joined forces… like, perhaps, serving a miracle berry compote at Thanksgiving.)

Because Jessica has been such an incredible source, she shall henceforth be known as The Hook Up, joining a sordid cast of WFI characters that includes The Sounding Board (Leah), The Cheerleader (Lisa), The Reality Check (Meredith), The Consultant (Andy), The Neighborly Victims (Ryan and Shana), and The Willing Husband (no explanation needed… I hope).  There are a host of others, but you get the idea.

Keep it comin’ Jess… I love it all!